Becoming Tony Blackburn
Sunday, October 26, 2003
*looks at the current world's population* You must have a lot of frustration then.
Saturday, October 25, 2003
Some of the fic is truly brilliant - the characterisation, the storylines, the internal logic, the use of language - all better than a lot of published works. Some of it is rather self-indulgent wish fulfillment, but that's okay too. It's a hobby, after all, and why do we have hobbies? Because we enjoy them. So, fine. Some of it, however, sucks beyond the power of words to describe. Fanfiction.net is a great home for this - it tends to be full of American teenies writing High School romances. Now I have no issue with people writing High School Romance if that's what floats their boat. Writing anything is fine in my book. I may not like it, but someone probably will.
But what I don't understand is why disguise it - very thinly, most of the time - as fanfic? I like to read about Buffyverse characters - the real ones, because I find them interesting. I don't really want to read about a generic teen (or the author, more often than not. Mary Sue-ism is rampant) whose only link to a Buffy character is the name.
Take this one: I'm Only Seventeen - 'Buffy is a seventeen year old Lebanese Muslim who moves to New Jersey... ' Um. Now, you see, there is our problem straight away. Because, really, she's - well, er, how can I put this? Not.
If the author gets her jollies by writing Mary Sue romance where gorgeous bleached blond English guys fall for her, then more power to her elbow. (Although I wish that power would include punctuation. 'Cos, you know, punctuation is kewl and all). But I think I would really rather she didn't pretend it was a Buffy story. Just so we're all clear on where we are. Truth in advertising, and all that.
And yes, of course I am a Goddess:
You are Dea dubiosa, the Goddess Sue. All
the power of heaven and earth is at your
command, which doesn't stop you from throwing
tantrums, or explain why we've never heard of
you before.
What Species of Mary Sue Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Nice.
Friday, October 24, 2003
Principles or brain cells? There's no competition, really. So, I am now the proud owner of a little bottle of Omega 3 fish oil capsules. And dear gods, these things are HUGE. An inch long, no word of a lie. I swear I thought it was a fucking suppository when I got it out of the bottle. But I managed to swallow it, and this afternoon I remembered, out of the blue, that I'd promised to lend my mate a couple of cds last week. So I've got them in my bag to take to the pub tonight. Coincidence? The power of postive thinking? The placebo effect? Dunno, but I'm sticking with my magic fish pills from now on.
Still, you've got to admire Paul Burrell for his determination to cash in get to The Truth, haven't you?
You know the other thing that drives me absolutely bugshit about Diana? The attitude - apparently also espoused by the Duke of Edinburgh - that someone would have to be 'crazy to leave her for Camilla'. I heard this over and over again when the whole sorry, sordid story was being played out at the time, and it always pissed me right off. Whether it was someone in the pub, or in readers' letters, or interviews, you got it all the time: no one in their right mind would leave Diana for Camilla.
Why? Why is that, exactly? Because Diana was pretty and Camilla looked like the back end of a bus? Oh, of course! Because looks are the be-all and end-all of everything, aren't they? How silly of me not to have realised that. I'm Charles, and I have this silly, neurotic, self-obsessed, manipulative, selfish bitch of a wife who I have nothing in common with whatsover, and then I have this other woman who is my age, understands my lifestyle and responsibilities and who I have been in love with for twenty years. Hmm, who do I choose? It's tricky, but at the end of the day we all know it has to be the one who looks better swanning about in a designer dress at some wanky Hollywood party, don't we? Of course we do. Heavens, what was I thinking? I must rush home to the scheming, adulterous lunatic who makes me really fucking miserable, right now. Because she's the pretty one! And who in their right mind would leave a pretty woman for one who isn't?
I mean, for fuck's sake. Are we as a species really So. Fucking. Shallow?
If Diana had looked like the back end of a bus, do you think she would have been so universally worshipped? Fuck off would she. Princess Anne fulfilled all the 'such a good person' criteria a damn sight better, but she looks like a horse so it doesn't count.
So many value judgements made purely on what someone looks like. We'll never evolve until we get over this.
I am so completely and unutterably sick of hearing about famous people's offscreen lives. The fact that Holly Vallance has a spot is not news, okay?
There are many, many actors and musicians that I admire, enjoy or squee about. I would happily watch them performing all day. But I don't give a flying fuck who they go out with, what restaurant they eat at or whether they have regular colonic irrigation. I simply do not care. Is that so wrong?
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Case in point: Alexis Denisof. Mmmmmm... Wesley. Thing is, it has to be Angel Season 4 Wesley: In earlier versions, or as himself, he doesn’t appear on the radar. But Season 4 Wesley, whoo! The stubble, the attitude and the sense of danger completely change it around. Why are dangerous men attractive? Nice, bumbling Wes was a write-off. Cruel, callous and violent Wes lights up the board like a christmas tree.
Saturday, October 18, 2003
Is this a good time to admit that I like the Bee Gees, too?
The Lost Boys. Very funny, kickass soundtrack and some amazingly cool vampire death scenes ('Death by stereo'. Heh). Plus, of course, the original gorgeous platinum-blonde vampire in long black coat. ::sigh::
Groundhog Day. Because Bill Murray is the funniest man ever.
Ghostbusters. See above.
From Dusk Til Dawn. Just think what an absolutely amazing result you'd get if you crossed a vampire film with Pulp Fiction and Desperado. Oh, wait, they already did.
Alien. The first film I remember that played space travel in a way that you could really see happening. The ship was unglamourous, the crew had the attitude of long-distance lorry drivers, the underlying motivation was corporate greed and the aliens were - well, alien, rather than good looking humanoids who spoke english. And it still scares me. Every time.
Legally Blonde. Um. I love cheese, okay? It's the only thing I can think of that goes any way towards explaining this.
Flatliners. Kiefer, looking beautiful. Nuff said.
Morpheus
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Hamilton's world is also very well drawn. Animators raise the dead to settle inheritance disputes, tourists flock to vampire strip clubs (and can I just say I would be first in the queue?) and the Church of the Eternal Life is the fastest growing religion in the country. You read it and you go 'yep, that's just how it would be.'
Strangely, it's probably the vampires themselves who are the weakest link. They come dangerously close to being stereotypes - I mean, I like Jean-Claude, but... a beautiful French gentleman with courtly manners and lacy shirts? Um. It felt a little bit 'seen that before'. (And I must say, I was getting to the point of wanting to stake him myself if I had to hear him call Anita 'ma petite' many more times). Likewise Nikolaos, the sadistic, powerful child-vamp. They all seemed to be more 'type' than character. My personal preference is for my vamps to have a bit more personality. (One thing BtVS always did fabulously well. Even vamps whose sole purpose was to get dusted always had a certain individuality.)
The zombies, now - they were great. From the traditional mindless killing machine, to zombie with soul, to zombie who forgot he was dead. The scene with the resurrected father who's settled the will issues and now just wants to go home was incredibly powerful - despite being background colour rather than a plot point. I hope the rest of the series has more zombie stories.
It's written in first person, which isn't normally a favourite of mine for something novel-length, but Anita's voice is so engaging that even the description and exposition never drags. The action sequences are immediate and gutsy, with no sense of the distancing that first person past tense can sometimes bring. The style works very well - small words, short sentences, short chapters. It makes for a very tight, pacy read.
If I had to criticise it technically, it would be that occasionally a metaphor or striking phrase is over-used, which lessens the effect - although in mitigation reading them all close together probably highlighted that; I'm pretty sure at least one of the repetitions actually came in different books. Oh, and the Nikes. I don't know if Hamilton was angling for a sponsorship deal, but it got a little wearing to hear quite so much about Anita's footwear.
Overall, though - great. Highly recommended.
Just wondering - are there really people who don't like vampire stories?
Monday, October 13, 2003
Sunday, October 12, 2003
My Muse, according to the cards, is a Fire spirit - the King of Wands. Dynamic, energetic and creative but not big on attention span. I think she got bored with a long story that kept rambling in all manner of directions, and just took off. To Disneyworld or somewhere, probably, and turned her back on me.
Except when I wanted to write about Spike, of course. She's always up for playing with Spike. The whore.
So we've come to an arrangement. Some novel, some Spike. I can live with that. The novel is, effectively, starting over. She made me ask a lot of 'why?' questions, and the answers we've come up with are a damn sight more interesting than the original story. So from in excess of 60,000 words, I now have 1,292. But this is a Good Thing, she assures me. She likes it better, and she says she'll stick around this time.
I'm trying very hard not to cry.
I like my twelve hundred words, if that's anything. And at least I finally got some onto the page. That's definitely something.
So in payback, I gave her some light-hearted fluff. Welcome home, pet. You're a bitch, but I love you.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
An Angel At My Shoulder
[Interior: Luxurious looking office. GOD sits behind the desk, the ARCHANGEL GABRIEL stands by his shoulder. DONALD sits opposite them.]
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Okay, let’s do this one more time. You’re God. The almighty, the supreme being, the divine ruler of the infinite universe. God. Got it?
[GOD] I’m God? Really?
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Yes, really.
[GOD] So I can – you know, do anything I want?
[DONALD] Sir –
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Yep. What with being the ultimate lord of all creation, and all that.
[GOD] Wow. So I could, um, make things appear out of thin air?
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Absolutely. A burning bush, a stone tablet, a dove, a – [Pauses] Okay, yeah, a salami. That’s probably more fitting for a multicultural society than loaves and fishes anyway. We can make that work.
[GOD] And I can do anything at all that I want?
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Sure. Anything. Cure cancer, end poverty, create world peace. Anything.
[GOD] Uh huh. And blow stuff up?
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] What?
[GOD]You know. Blow stuff up. With guns and tanks and great big shiny rockets?
[DONALD] Sir –
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Well – yeah, I guess so. If that’s really what you want to do.
[GOD] Are you kidding? Of course it’s what I want to do. What are you, nuts? I’m God. I’m the king of the world, and everyone will bow down before my concupiscence.
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] I think you mean omniscience.
[GOD] Whatever.
[DONALD] Sir –
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Concupiscence was more of a Clinton thing.
[DONALD] SIR!
[GOD] What, Donald? What? Can’t you see I’m busy? I’m talking to the Archangel Gabriel, here.
[DONALD] Your pills, sir.
[GOD] Oh. Right. Time for my pills. [Pauses. Continues, in very small voice] Donald?
[DONALD] Sir?
[GOD] I’m not really God, am I?
[DONALD] No, sir.
[GOD] That’s not really a salami, is it?
[DONALD] No, sir.
[Sound of zipper being done up]
[GOD] I think I’ll go and have a bit of a lie down now.
[DONALD] Good plan, Mr Bush. Good plan.
[ -- END -- ]
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
Fingers crossed.
Sunday, October 05, 2003
1__2______5__6______9
_____3__4______7__8
[1-2] Past pertaining to this project’
[3-4] Something you need to know about this project, but may not be aware of.
[5-6] Forces working for this project.
[7-8] Personal meaning of this project.
[9] Ultimate outcome; including what else this project may lead.
Using the Vertigo Deck:
1-2: Queen of Swords / 2 of Wands Rx
3-4: 5 of Swords / The Chariot Rx
5-6: The Magician Rx / 9 of Pentacles
7-8: Page of Pentacles / Hanged Man Rx
9: Devil Rx
Random thoughts:
[1-2] Past pertaining to this project
Queen of Swords is a good communicator – has a lot of inner clarity, expresses herself well. 2 of Wands – the reversal suggests not being able to get a grip on the project, not being able to take charge. That would make sense. I have never felt fully in control of this – either the story itself or the process of writing a novel. So – I know I have something to say but don’t know how to go about making it happen.
[3-4] Something you need to know about this project, but may not be aware of.
5 of Swords- a card of fighting, of victory/defeat. The win or lose situation. Chariot Rx – more lack of control. I’m not in the driving seat. Am I trying to fight the story? Trying to impose my will on it and failing?
[5-6] Forces working for this project.
Magician Rx – All the ‘in control’ cards coming out reversed. Hmmm. This is what’s going for me, so perhaps this is saying I shouldn’t be trying to be in charge? Try and be a participant not the Master? 9 of Pents – self-control, discipline. All writers need that, and yes, I think I do have it. I write at least 500 words of something, every day. 9 of Pents can also say ‘art above business,’ and I do think I’ve been putting my writing first lately. Ok, so at least I’m on the right track with that.
[7-8] Personal meaning of this project.
Page of Pents – the apprentice, learning a craft by practising it. Yes, I do see this novel very much as a training ground. The books, the courses, the other writers – they can only teach you so much. To really learn something – and to understand what methods work for you - you have to do it. Hanged Man Rx – Mary Greer says ‘you might be more vulnerable that you look, wanting to do things right but unsure where to start, or stuck in procrastination’. Yup, that’ll be me all right. Impatient to be finished yet scared of it too, because I’m so terrified of getting it wrong. The inherent dilemma – doing something tells you whether you can cut it or not, but what if you don’t really want to know?
[9] Ultimate outcome; including what else this project may lead to.
The Devil Rx. This gave me a happy, because I love the Devil, it’s one of my favourite cards. It has so much power, so much energy. It isn’t scared of anything, it’ll take on the world. I often see the reversal as quite a good thing, because it puts the brakes on a little – Devil energy can get too overwhelming, like a black hole. So this could be saying that I will manage to break my funk of fear?
Back to Mary Greer: ‘You could say no to temptations, removing what binds you and escaping an unpleasant situation. For instance, it might be time to quit a soul-destroying job in which you feel ‘owned’ by the company or tied to it in order to pay your bills. It can signal an opportunity to access the guarded, hidden treasure of your own creativity and spontaneous delight. If you realise your fears are groundless, you can release yourself from false inhibitions.’
Oh yes. Yes, please.
Saturday, October 04, 2003
It's a really fine line between starting off with so much background that it just turns into a boring infodump that they're quickly going to get fed up with, and so little that they won't have a clue what the hell is going on.
And I am absolutely buggered if I can get it right.
Sigh.
[Tag Clare. Go on, you know you want to.]
There must be a lesson to learn in there, somewhere.
I've drafted Part 3, but I'm having issues. Willow, who kinda had other things on her mind at the time - like trying to destroy the world - never knew about the attempted rape. I've just had Xander tell her, so now she needs to deal with it and I need to show its effect on her interaction with Spike, which up to now has been very tender. My problem is in how much I let my opinion of it colour hers. Yes, it goes without saying: rape = Bad Thing and no means no etc. But the unique Buffy/Spike dynamic can't be left out of any consideration of what happened ie:
a) Buffy is stronger than Spike. Although hurt, she could - and did - physically stop him, quite easily.
b) Violent sex had been a major, regular part of their relationship.
c) Their previous history had been one whole series of no's that didn't quite mean no. She talked a good refusal, but whenever we saw him come on to her physically, despite protests, she gave in.
So yes, he did wrong - but there is a certain degree of mitigation to be found, if you want to. I do, mainly because I saw him as the abusee in their S6 relationship, not the abuser. But would Willow?
Friday, October 03, 2003
Meanwhile, in the other dimension, I have found myself being worshipped as a goddess by the surprised natives, who bring me offerings of marmite and Walnut Whips, and my High Priest is played by David Boreanaz. So all is right with the world.
UPDATE: I have it on, with the sound turned down. I am such a coward.
UPDATE 2: Agh. It's on. The Scene Which Shall Not Be Named.
Ow. I know it was important for his arc, the catalyst in his self-development and ultimate redemption and yadda yadda yadda, but - ow. You know? Just - ow.
UPDATE 3: Spike on a motorcycle. Hoo boy.
::expires with jealousy::
It's interesting to look back on, with the hindsight of knowing where things went. And I'd forgotten just how good it really was.
Doyle. ::sniff:: I loved Doyle. He wouldn't have been with us for the long haul, of course, considering that the actor Glenn Quinn sadly passed away, and without that gap opening up we might never have had Wesley, but - ah, Doyle.
Kate. I kinda liked Kate, and the whole police connection. And I don't even know why that didn't go anywhere. Did the actress leave? Did they decide against the police thing for artistic reasons? No idea.
Cordelia. She looked so lovely with her long dark hair. Why she ever did the cut & blonde thing I will never figure out.
Wes. Dear, sweet, cute Wes. I never saw it at the time, but when you've fallen for Dark Wesley later, you look back with a whole new worldview.
I was just watching Eternity, which I adore even though the story makes no sense whatsoever - Angelus is just so much fun. My favourite line, from Cordy: "Well, I guess it's safe to come in. Evil Angel would never have worn those pants." Yup. [Pause for worshipping at the altar of the Leather Trousers of Evil].
And you know one thing that just screams out of those early eps? Cordy/Angel? Nah. Not there. Wesley, though? Wesley loves him. Wesley loves Angel to bits.
Oh, when when when do we get Season 5...? More vampires, I want more vampires.
Your partner: Since I'm obviously famous and artistic and unafraid to live an unconventional life, I am in a three-way relationship and my partners are played by Kiefer Sutherland and James Marsters. (I couldn't choose. Shoot me)
Your ex: David Duchovny. People will look at him and say 'my god, how could you have walked out on this man?' and then they will look at James and Kiefer and say 'ah'.
Your best friend: Alyson Hannigan. 'Cos she plays cute and intelligent so well.
Your boss: As I will be a famous writer, my editor. Alan Rickman. Hamming up the evil to high heaven in the way that only he can.
Other: My stalker. Every self-respecting demi-god has to have one, right? Christopher Walken. 'Cos no-one plays 'sexy psycho' better.
'A measure of the disorder of the molecules in substances etc that are mixed or in contact with each other, indicating the amount of energy that (although it still exists) is not available for use because it has become more evenly distributed instead of being concentrated.'
What? I mean, just - what?
Muse (added)
Depeche Mode
Nirvana
The Pixies
Sisters Of Mercy
The Stranglers
The Sex Pistols
REM
Ride
XTC
Nine Inch Nails
David Bowie (Removed)
Ford Mondeo, P Reg.
2. How long have you had it?
Four years? Maybe five? Look, I'm lucky to remember what I had for breakfast.
3. What is the coolest feature on your vehicle?
The colour. It's purple. Does that count as a feature?
4. What is the most annoying thing about your vehicle?
Um. It doesn't really annoy me at all. It goes, that pretty much covers everything I want from a car. That and the purple, of course.
5. If money were no object, what vehicle would you be driving right now?
A yellow Beetle, old style, with the personalised numberplate BUG1. Wouldn't everyone?
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
So, with that said: It seems to me to be extraordinarily selfish. I'm sorry if anyone who wants a baby can't have one. But that's kinda how life is, isn't it? You don't get things just because you want them, no matter how much you want them. The women wanted to be mothers. Their exes did not want to be fathers. They have a right to that choice. You don't have the right to adversely affect someone else's life in order to get what you want.
Yes, if they had become pregnant naturally the men could not have stopped the pregnancy - but that kinda supposes that the relationship would be ongoing at the time. The relationships now are over. It's different. If the women had raped their exes in order to become pregnant, that wouldn't be acceptable would it? I don't honestly see this as much different. Proceeding with a pregnancy now would have been taking away their ability to consent - that's not too far from the definition of rape, is it?
And the worst thing, to me? What would they have said to the kids, when the question comes: what happened to my daddy? Yes, there are successful single parent families but divorce is one thing - you have the solace of the 'mummy and daddy don't want to be together any more but they still both love you very much...' thing. But what do you say in this case? How on earth do you explain to that child that not only does daddy not love it, but that he went to court to fight for the right not to be its daddy? That he was desperate for it not to be born? How could you even consider doing that to a child?
I do have sympathy with women who want a child. But there's no need for this - adopt one, for heaven's sake. Give some poor unwanted little bastard a chance of a family, if you're so desperate for one.
Damn fine show, sirs
Went to see The Mission last night, at the Kentish Town Forum. One of the few bands I will still drag my sorry carcass out to see, and always worth it. They played for just under three hours, and captivated every single person in the place. Gigs have different moods; sometimes spiky, sometimes flat, sometimes not much more than polite interest. Last night's was one of the great ones - pure, unadulterated adoration. We loved those guys.Amen to that
*looks at the current world's population* You must have a lot of frustration then.
What pisses you off?
Created by ptocheia
Saturday, October 25, 2003
That's not what it said on the tin
Upfront: I love fanfic. I write it, I read it. No apologies. (Well what the hell's a girl to do while waiting for Sky to get their sodding fingers out and buy Angel S5? Gotta get my fix somewhere).Some of the fic is truly brilliant - the characterisation, the storylines, the internal logic, the use of language - all better than a lot of published works. Some of it is rather self-indulgent wish fulfillment, but that's okay too. It's a hobby, after all, and why do we have hobbies? Because we enjoy them. So, fine. Some of it, however, sucks beyond the power of words to describe. Fanfiction.net is a great home for this - it tends to be full of American teenies writing High School romances. Now I have no issue with people writing High School Romance if that's what floats their boat. Writing anything is fine in my book. I may not like it, but someone probably will.
But what I don't understand is why disguise it - very thinly, most of the time - as fanfic? I like to read about Buffyverse characters - the real ones, because I find them interesting. I don't really want to read about a generic teen (or the author, more often than not. Mary Sue-ism is rampant) whose only link to a Buffy character is the name.
Take this one: I'm Only Seventeen - 'Buffy is a seventeen year old Lebanese Muslim who moves to New Jersey... ' Um. Now, you see, there is our problem straight away. Because, really, she's - well, er, how can I put this? Not.
If the author gets her jollies by writing Mary Sue romance where gorgeous bleached blond English guys fall for her, then more power to her elbow. (Although I wish that power would include punctuation. 'Cos, you know, punctuation is kewl and all). But I think I would really rather she didn't pretend it was a Buffy story. Just so we're all clear on where we are. Truth in advertising, and all that.
And yes, of course I am a Goddess:
You are Dea dubiosa, the Goddess Sue. All
the power of heaven and earth is at your
command, which doesn't stop you from throwing
tantrums, or explain why we've never heard of
you before.
What Species of Mary Sue Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Revenge of the Vegetarian Subconscious
So, last night I have this big convoluted dream where I'm in the CIA or something, part of this undercover operation trying to track down a nefarious drugs ring who are operating out of a huge theme park/ranch type place run by vampires (Obviously. Vampires are *everywhere* in my head). And to infiltrate the gang I have to prove my credentials by eating a plate of bulls' testicles.Nice.
Friday, October 24, 2003
The Veggie Dilemma
So, it seems that Omega 3 can make it easier for signals to jump the spaces between brain cells - and thereby improve concentration and memory. For me, that's the Holy Grail. The arse of the thing is, of course, that the best source of Omega 3 is in fish oil. There are vegetarian versions, but these are the 'parent' ALA, whereas the most efficient are EPA and DHA - the fishy ones.Principles or brain cells? There's no competition, really. So, I am now the proud owner of a little bottle of Omega 3 fish oil capsules. And dear gods, these things are HUGE. An inch long, no word of a lie. I swear I thought it was a fucking suppository when I got it out of the bottle. But I managed to swallow it, and this afternoon I remembered, out of the blue, that I'd promised to lend my mate a couple of cds last week. So I've got them in my bag to take to the pub tonight. Coincidence? The power of postive thinking? The placebo effect? Dunno, but I'm sticking with my magic fish pills from now on.
Speaking of Not Caring...
Princess Diana. Merciful Zeus, is this ever going to go away? I'm sorry if anyone who thought she was a Saint on Earth is offended, but in my opinion the thing to remember when reading this amazing 'they're out to get me' letter is that the woman was a fucking basket case. I mean, have you read it? Bonkers. Stark staring mad.Still, you've got to admire Paul Burrell for his determination to cash in get to The Truth, haven't you?
You know the other thing that drives me absolutely bugshit about Diana? The attitude - apparently also espoused by the Duke of Edinburgh - that someone would have to be 'crazy to leave her for Camilla'. I heard this over and over again when the whole sorry, sordid story was being played out at the time, and it always pissed me right off. Whether it was someone in the pub, or in readers' letters, or interviews, you got it all the time: no one in their right mind would leave Diana for Camilla.
Why? Why is that, exactly? Because Diana was pretty and Camilla looked like the back end of a bus? Oh, of course! Because looks are the be-all and end-all of everything, aren't they? How silly of me not to have realised that. I'm Charles, and I have this silly, neurotic, self-obsessed, manipulative, selfish bitch of a wife who I have nothing in common with whatsover, and then I have this other woman who is my age, understands my lifestyle and responsibilities and who I have been in love with for twenty years. Hmm, who do I choose? It's tricky, but at the end of the day we all know it has to be the one who looks better swanning about in a designer dress at some wanky Hollywood party, don't we? Of course we do. Heavens, what was I thinking? I must rush home to the scheming, adulterous lunatic who makes me really fucking miserable, right now. Because she's the pretty one! And who in their right mind would leave a pretty woman for one who isn't?
I mean, for fuck's sake. Are we as a species really So. Fucking. Shallow?
If Diana had looked like the back end of a bus, do you think she would have been so universally worshipped? Fuck off would she. Princess Anne fulfilled all the 'such a good person' criteria a damn sight better, but she looks like a horse so it doesn't count.
So many value judgements made purely on what someone looks like. We'll never evolve until we get over this.
All publicity is good publicity
Or is it? Not for Ben Affleck, apparently. He's been dumped from his latest film because they're worried all the bollocks about him and J Lo has 'tarnished his image'. Could this finally be the beginning of the end for the 'famous person with zit is front page news' culture we seem to have found ourselves in? Please, could it be? Pretty please?I am so completely and unutterably sick of hearing about famous people's offscreen lives. The fact that Holly Vallance has a spot is not news, okay?
There are many, many actors and musicians that I admire, enjoy or squee about. I would happily watch them performing all day. But I don't give a flying fuck who they go out with, what restaurant they eat at or whether they have regular colonic irrigation. I simply do not care. Is that so wrong?
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Rowan Atkinson
...is a comedy genius. No-one else could take the single syllable 'Bob' and make it screamingly funny. Even on the - crumbs, what? Ninth, tenth time of watching? Ah, they don't make 'em like Blackadder any more.Tuesday, October 21, 2003
The Rules of Attraction
What is it, that makes us find someone attractive? Chemistry, sociological conditioning, biological or genetic imperative, being opposite, being similar, being complementary, confidence, humour, intelligence, money, magic, cupid’s arrow, all of the above? Why don’t we all fancy the same people? Or even similar people? How is it that someone can make one person’s stomach fill with butterflies and another’s nausea? How much is physical and how much personality? Why do we lust after some people on first sight but grow into it with others?Case in point: Alexis Denisof. Mmmmmm... Wesley. Thing is, it has to be Angel Season 4 Wesley: In earlier versions, or as himself, he doesn’t appear on the radar. But Season 4 Wesley, whoo! The stubble, the attitude and the sense of danger completely change it around. Why are dangerous men attractive? Nice, bumbling Wes was a write-off. Cruel, callous and violent Wes lights up the board like a christmas tree.
Saturday, October 18, 2003
Invasion of the Taste Snatchers
In which my musical discernent has obviously been stolen by aliens, because I have just fallen totally and completely in love with Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit. I mean, come on. First Evanescence, now Limp Bizkit? What is going on here?Is this a good time to admit that I like the Bee Gees, too?
Replay
Films I just never get tired of watching...The Lost Boys. Very funny, kickass soundtrack and some amazingly cool vampire death scenes ('Death by stereo'. Heh). Plus, of course, the original gorgeous platinum-blonde vampire in long black coat. ::sigh::
Groundhog Day. Because Bill Murray is the funniest man ever.
Ghostbusters. See above.
From Dusk Til Dawn. Just think what an absolutely amazing result you'd get if you crossed a vampire film with Pulp Fiction and Desperado. Oh, wait, they already did.
Alien. The first film I remember that played space travel in a way that you could really see happening. The ship was unglamourous, the crew had the attitude of long-distance lorry drivers, the underlying motivation was corporate greed and the aliens were - well, alien, rather than good looking humanoids who spoke english. And it still scares me. Every time.
Legally Blonde. Um. I love cheese, okay? It's the only thing I can think of that goes any way towards explaining this.
Flatliners. Kiefer, looking beautiful. Nuff said.
Morpheus
Morpheus
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
I give in
I like Evanescence. I want the album. Sigh. Yes, it sounds like faux-goth Linkin Park, but then I like Linkin Park too.Read: Guilty Pleasures, The Laughing Corpse, Circus of the Damned, Laurell K Hamilton
Now this is my thang. Loved all three, and looking forward to the rest. The series is called 'Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter' but I notice that she refers to herself more as a vampire slayer. I wonder, considering that the first book came out in 1993, just after the original Buffy film (1992), whether she saw that and thought right, I'll show you a vampire slayer...' Anita is rather like the series' Buffy, but without the identity-angst. What I love about her is that she's fine with who she is and what she does. Her life is scary, dangerous and light-years from normal, but she doesn't bitch about it. She sucks it up and deals with it. Buffy had a tendency to lapse into 'poor me' mode, but (so far, at least) Anita doesn't. She's funny, self-aware, moral without being righteous, and powerful without being superior. I also love the fact that she never goes anywhere without being armed to the teeth. It just makes everything seem so much more real, heh.Hamilton's world is also very well drawn. Animators raise the dead to settle inheritance disputes, tourists flock to vampire strip clubs (and can I just say I would be first in the queue?) and the Church of the Eternal Life is the fastest growing religion in the country. You read it and you go 'yep, that's just how it would be.'
Strangely, it's probably the vampires themselves who are the weakest link. They come dangerously close to being stereotypes - I mean, I like Jean-Claude, but... a beautiful French gentleman with courtly manners and lacy shirts? Um. It felt a little bit 'seen that before'. (And I must say, I was getting to the point of wanting to stake him myself if I had to hear him call Anita 'ma petite' many more times). Likewise Nikolaos, the sadistic, powerful child-vamp. They all seemed to be more 'type' than character. My personal preference is for my vamps to have a bit more personality. (One thing BtVS always did fabulously well. Even vamps whose sole purpose was to get dusted always had a certain individuality.)
The zombies, now - they were great. From the traditional mindless killing machine, to zombie with soul, to zombie who forgot he was dead. The scene with the resurrected father who's settled the will issues and now just wants to go home was incredibly powerful - despite being background colour rather than a plot point. I hope the rest of the series has more zombie stories.
It's written in first person, which isn't normally a favourite of mine for something novel-length, but Anita's voice is so engaging that even the description and exposition never drags. The action sequences are immediate and gutsy, with no sense of the distancing that first person past tense can sometimes bring. The style works very well - small words, short sentences, short chapters. It makes for a very tight, pacy read.
If I had to criticise it technically, it would be that occasionally a metaphor or striking phrase is over-used, which lessens the effect - although in mitigation reading them all close together probably highlighted that; I'm pretty sure at least one of the repetitions actually came in different books. Oh, and the Nikes. I don't know if Hamilton was angling for a sponsorship deal, but it got a little wearing to hear quite so much about Anita's footwear.
Overall, though - great. Highly recommended.
Just wondering - are there really people who don't like vampire stories?
Oh okay then - if I *have* to
Monday, October 13, 2003
Fic Update
Part 3 of If Wishes Were Horses posted.Sunday, October 12, 2003
Welcome home, pet
My novel has been a wasteland lately, something so bleak and depressing that I couldn't bear to look at it. It didn't even interest me, and if the writer doesn't care about it what chance does a reader have?My Muse, according to the cards, is a Fire spirit - the King of Wands. Dynamic, energetic and creative but not big on attention span. I think she got bored with a long story that kept rambling in all manner of directions, and just took off. To Disneyworld or somewhere, probably, and turned her back on me.
Except when I wanted to write about Spike, of course. She's always up for playing with Spike. The whore.
So we've come to an arrangement. Some novel, some Spike. I can live with that. The novel is, effectively, starting over. She made me ask a lot of 'why?' questions, and the answers we've come up with are a damn sight more interesting than the original story. So from in excess of 60,000 words, I now have 1,292. But this is a Good Thing, she assures me. She likes it better, and she says she'll stick around this time.
I'm trying very hard not to cry.
I like my twelve hundred words, if that's anything. And at least I finally got some onto the page. That's definitely something.
So in payback, I gave her some light-hearted fluff. Welcome home, pet. You're a bitch, but I love you.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
Here's hoping, Pt 2
Inspired by Dogma, here's my entry for The Competition. Which I'm WAY more excited about than the Dark Tales one, obviously.An Angel At My Shoulder
[Interior: Luxurious looking office. GOD sits behind the desk, the ARCHANGEL GABRIEL stands by his shoulder. DONALD sits opposite them.]
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Okay, let’s do this one more time. You’re God. The almighty, the supreme being, the divine ruler of the infinite universe. God. Got it?
[GOD] I’m God? Really?
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Yes, really.
[GOD] So I can – you know, do anything I want?
[DONALD] Sir –
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Yep. What with being the ultimate lord of all creation, and all that.
[GOD] Wow. So I could, um, make things appear out of thin air?
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Absolutely. A burning bush, a stone tablet, a dove, a – [Pauses] Okay, yeah, a salami. That’s probably more fitting for a multicultural society than loaves and fishes anyway. We can make that work.
[GOD] And I can do anything at all that I want?
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Sure. Anything. Cure cancer, end poverty, create world peace. Anything.
[GOD] Uh huh. And blow stuff up?
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] What?
[GOD]You know. Blow stuff up. With guns and tanks and great big shiny rockets?
[DONALD] Sir –
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Well – yeah, I guess so. If that’s really what you want to do.
[GOD] Are you kidding? Of course it’s what I want to do. What are you, nuts? I’m God. I’m the king of the world, and everyone will bow down before my concupiscence.
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] I think you mean omniscience.
[GOD] Whatever.
[DONALD] Sir –
[ARCHANGEL GABRIEL] Concupiscence was more of a Clinton thing.
[DONALD] SIR!
[GOD] What, Donald? What? Can’t you see I’m busy? I’m talking to the Archangel Gabriel, here.
[DONALD] Your pills, sir.
[GOD] Oh. Right. Time for my pills. [Pauses. Continues, in very small voice] Donald?
[DONALD] Sir?
[GOD] I’m not really God, am I?
[DONALD] No, sir.
[GOD] That’s not really a salami, is it?
[DONALD] No, sir.
[Sound of zipper being done up]
[GOD] I think I’ll go and have a bit of a lie down now.
[DONALD] Good plan, Mr Bush. Good plan.
[ -- END -- ]
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
Here's hoping
Just finished my entry for the Dark Tales Autumn competition. It's called 'Run, Bert, Run' and is an everday tale of cockroaches, domestic violence and cannibalism.Fingers crossed.
Dogma
Funniest film ever. Seriously, dude.Sunday, October 05, 2003
Writers' Spread
With thanks to Clare...1__2______5__6______9
_____3__4______7__8
[1-2] Past pertaining to this project’
[3-4] Something you need to know about this project, but may not be aware of.
[5-6] Forces working for this project.
[7-8] Personal meaning of this project.
[9] Ultimate outcome; including what else this project may lead.
Using the Vertigo Deck:
1-2: Queen of Swords / 2 of Wands Rx
3-4: 5 of Swords / The Chariot Rx
5-6: The Magician Rx / 9 of Pentacles
7-8: Page of Pentacles / Hanged Man Rx
9: Devil Rx
Random thoughts:
[1-2] Past pertaining to this project
Queen of Swords is a good communicator – has a lot of inner clarity, expresses herself well. 2 of Wands – the reversal suggests not being able to get a grip on the project, not being able to take charge. That would make sense. I have never felt fully in control of this – either the story itself or the process of writing a novel. So – I know I have something to say but don’t know how to go about making it happen.
[3-4] Something you need to know about this project, but may not be aware of.
5 of Swords- a card of fighting, of victory/defeat. The win or lose situation. Chariot Rx – more lack of control. I’m not in the driving seat. Am I trying to fight the story? Trying to impose my will on it and failing?
[5-6] Forces working for this project.
Magician Rx – All the ‘in control’ cards coming out reversed. Hmmm. This is what’s going for me, so perhaps this is saying I shouldn’t be trying to be in charge? Try and be a participant not the Master? 9 of Pents – self-control, discipline. All writers need that, and yes, I think I do have it. I write at least 500 words of something, every day. 9 of Pents can also say ‘art above business,’ and I do think I’ve been putting my writing first lately. Ok, so at least I’m on the right track with that.
[7-8] Personal meaning of this project.
Page of Pents – the apprentice, learning a craft by practising it. Yes, I do see this novel very much as a training ground. The books, the courses, the other writers – they can only teach you so much. To really learn something – and to understand what methods work for you - you have to do it. Hanged Man Rx – Mary Greer says ‘you might be more vulnerable that you look, wanting to do things right but unsure where to start, or stuck in procrastination’. Yup, that’ll be me all right. Impatient to be finished yet scared of it too, because I’m so terrified of getting it wrong. The inherent dilemma – doing something tells you whether you can cut it or not, but what if you don’t really want to know?
[9] Ultimate outcome; including what else this project may lead to.
The Devil Rx. This gave me a happy, because I love the Devil, it’s one of my favourite cards. It has so much power, so much energy. It isn’t scared of anything, it’ll take on the world. I often see the reversal as quite a good thing, because it puts the brakes on a little – Devil energy can get too overwhelming, like a black hole. So this could be saying that I will manage to break my funk of fear?
Back to Mary Greer: ‘You could say no to temptations, removing what binds you and escaping an unpleasant situation. For instance, it might be time to quit a soul-destroying job in which you feel ‘owned’ by the company or tied to it in order to pay your bills. It can signal an opportunity to access the guarded, hidden treasure of your own creativity and spontaneous delight. If you realise your fears are groundless, you can release yourself from false inhibitions.’
Oh yes. Yes, please.
Saturday, October 04, 2003
Infodump
The thing that makes fanfic easy to write is that you don't have to establish the rules of your universe. It's all been done - the exposition, the explanations, the necessary information that the reader needs. It's already in place, so you can just crack on with the story. In original fic, it is that much harder. Readers know nothing about the world of my novel - and there are things that they need to know in order to understand it.It's a really fine line between starting off with so much background that it just turns into a boring infodump that they're quickly going to get fed up with, and so little that they won't have a clue what the hell is going on.
And I am absolutely buggered if I can get it right.
Sigh.
Story Of Your Life Pt 3
In which James and Kiefer mutiny against Evil Clare's tyrranical rule of the whip and re-open the portal to come and find me. Evil Clare attempts to thwart their plan with the aid of one of the army of vampires she has been creating in the mansion's basement, played by Adrian Paul. During the battle at the mouth of the portal, James is turned into a vampire by Adrian and immediately gets the whole black leather thing going on (in my world, that's as much part of the vampire myth as fangs). He and Kiefer drag Evil Clare and her vampire lover through the portal into the other dimension, where they are captured by my new Chief of Security, played by John Cusack. They are all brought to my throne room, where....[Tag Clare. Go on, you know you want to.]
Fic Update
Part 2 of my Willow/Spike story 'If Wishes Were Horses' is up. It's funny, I'd expected that writing a chapter story would be terrifying, a real pressure situation. If anything, it's the reverse - it actually feels quite liberating. In my novel, I have rewritten my early chapters more times than I can count. I'm always revising, changing emphasis, worrying about the strength of the opening character/event/line. With this story, I can't do that. I don't have the luxury of doing that. I have to simply write it, post it and then go where it's taken me.There must be a lesson to learn in there, somewhere.
I've drafted Part 3, but I'm having issues. Willow, who kinda had other things on her mind at the time - like trying to destroy the world - never knew about the attempted rape. I've just had Xander tell her, so now she needs to deal with it and I need to show its effect on her interaction with Spike, which up to now has been very tender. My problem is in how much I let my opinion of it colour hers. Yes, it goes without saying: rape = Bad Thing and no means no etc. But the unique Buffy/Spike dynamic can't be left out of any consideration of what happened ie:
a) Buffy is stronger than Spike. Although hurt, she could - and did - physically stop him, quite easily.
b) Violent sex had been a major, regular part of their relationship.
c) Their previous history had been one whole series of no's that didn't quite mean no. She talked a good refusal, but whenever we saw him come on to her physically, despite protests, she gave in.
So yes, he did wrong - but there is a certain degree of mitigation to be found, if you want to. I do, mainly because I saw him as the abusee in their S6 relationship, not the abuser. But would Willow?
Friday, October 03, 2003
Story Of Your Life Pt 2 - The Sequel
In which I am kidnapped by Evil Clare's minions and thrown through a portal into another dimension while she adopts my life - and no doubt installs Alexis Denisof into my mansion as a live-in sex slave PA to attend to her fiendish desires paperwork.Meanwhile, in the other dimension, I have found myself being worshipped as a goddess by the surprised natives, who bring me offerings of marmite and Walnut Whips, and my High Priest is played by David Boreanaz. So all is right with the world.
Eee. Ooh. Aggh
Oh, Goddess. Sky's S6 rerun has reached Seeing Red. Can I stand to watch it again? Tara, my sweet beautiful Tara (and how cruel was it to put Amber in the credits for just this one ep?). The unspeakable world-imploding awfulness that is the Scene Which Shall Not Be Named. I don't know. I really don't know.UPDATE: I have it on, with the sound turned down. I am such a coward.
UPDATE 2: Agh. It's on. The Scene Which Shall Not Be Named.
Ow. I know it was important for his arc, the catalyst in his self-development and ultimate redemption and yadda yadda yadda, but - ow. You know? Just - ow.
UPDATE 3: Spike on a motorcycle. Hoo boy.
Angel
They're rerunning Season 1 on Sky, hopefully (?!) to whet our appetite for Season 5, which has just started in the States.::expires with jealousy::
It's interesting to look back on, with the hindsight of knowing where things went. And I'd forgotten just how good it really was.
Doyle. ::sniff:: I loved Doyle. He wouldn't have been with us for the long haul, of course, considering that the actor Glenn Quinn sadly passed away, and without that gap opening up we might never have had Wesley, but - ah, Doyle.
Kate. I kinda liked Kate, and the whole police connection. And I don't even know why that didn't go anywhere. Did the actress leave? Did they decide against the police thing for artistic reasons? No idea.
Cordelia. She looked so lovely with her long dark hair. Why she ever did the cut & blonde thing I will never figure out.
Wes. Dear, sweet, cute Wes. I never saw it at the time, but when you've fallen for Dark Wesley later, you look back with a whole new worldview.
I was just watching Eternity, which I adore even though the story makes no sense whatsoever - Angelus is just so much fun. My favourite line, from Cordy: "Well, I guess it's safe to come in. Evil Angel would never have worn those pants." Yup. [Pause for worshipping at the altar of the Leather Trousers of Evil].
And you know one thing that just screams out of those early eps? Cordy/Angel? Nah. Not there. Wesley, though? Wesley loves him. Wesley loves Angel to bits.
Oh, when when when do we get Season 5...? More vampires, I want more vampires.
Story Of Your Life
The little hollywood blockbuster thing got me thinking. In an Alternate Universe where you're both a) famous and b) a good enough actor to star in your own biopic, who would you cast for the other roles?Your partner: Since I'm obviously famous and artistic and unafraid to live an unconventional life, I am in a three-way relationship and my partners are played by Kiefer Sutherland and James Marsters. (I couldn't choose. Shoot me)
Your ex: David Duchovny. People will look at him and say 'my god, how could you have walked out on this man?' and then they will look at James and Kiefer and say 'ah'.
Your best friend: Alyson Hannigan. 'Cos she plays cute and intelligent so well.
Your boss: As I will be a famous writer, my editor. Alan Rickman. Hamming up the evil to high heaven in the way that only he can.
Other: My stalker. Every self-respecting demi-god has to have one, right? Christopher Walken. 'Cos no-one plays 'sexy psycho' better.
Entropy
Inspired by having watched it last night (Season 6, ep 18) I started to wonder what the hell it meant. My dictionary says this:'A measure of the disorder of the molecules in substances etc that are mixed or in contact with each other, indicating the amount of energy that (although it still exists) is not available for use because it has become more evenly distributed instead of being concentrated.'
What? I mean, just - what?
Music Meme
Via Pogo. Your meme, should you choose to accept it, is to rank the following bands in order, from COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT to COULDN'T CARE LESS. To add value to this process, you must also add one band to the list, and remove one band from the list, before passing the meme on (including these instructions).Muse (added)
Depeche Mode
Nirvana
The Pixies
Sisters Of Mercy
The Stranglers
The Sex Pistols
REM
Ride
XTC
Nine Inch Nails
David Bowie (Removed)
Friday Five - Driving In My Car
1. What vehicle do you drive?Ford Mondeo, P Reg.
2. How long have you had it?
Four years? Maybe five? Look, I'm lucky to remember what I had for breakfast.
3. What is the coolest feature on your vehicle?
The colour. It's purple. Does that count as a feature?
4. What is the most annoying thing about your vehicle?
Um. It doesn't really annoy me at all. It goes, that pretty much covers everything I want from a car. That and the purple, of course.
5. If money were no object, what vehicle would you be driving right now?
A yellow Beetle, old style, with the personalised numberplate BUG1. Wouldn't everyone?
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Blogbuster
Denzel Washington can comfort me any day of the week. Hell, yeah.| "Flurblewig" |
| Melissa Joan Hart stars as Flurblewig, a programmer who feels stuck at her deadend job. The mysterious Brenda (Sarah Jessica Parker), shows up in her life and tells her about her real past. She comes back to her hometown to find her high school sweetheart, Dave (Woody Harrelson). Dave dies of cancer, and the doctor, Rob (Denzel Washington), helps Flurblewig get over the pain. |
What's your journal's Hollywood blockbuster? |
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
The Wanderer Returns
Welcome back Pogo. Hah. The lure of the vortext is too strong. There is no escape for those who are called to blog.The Great Embryo Debate
So, the women lost the case. I think that was the right decision, although I have to start with the caveat that I am probably not fully qualified to comment. I don't want children. Never have. I don't like babies, or kids under the age of - oh, sixteen, say. I don't have a maternal gene in my entire body, so I really don't relate to the whole desperate for a baby thing. It is an alien concept to me, so I struggle to understand the powerful emotions that drive it.So, with that said: It seems to me to be extraordinarily selfish. I'm sorry if anyone who wants a baby can't have one. But that's kinda how life is, isn't it? You don't get things just because you want them, no matter how much you want them. The women wanted to be mothers. Their exes did not want to be fathers. They have a right to that choice. You don't have the right to adversely affect someone else's life in order to get what you want.
Yes, if they had become pregnant naturally the men could not have stopped the pregnancy - but that kinda supposes that the relationship would be ongoing at the time. The relationships now are over. It's different. If the women had raped their exes in order to become pregnant, that wouldn't be acceptable would it? I don't honestly see this as much different. Proceeding with a pregnancy now would have been taking away their ability to consent - that's not too far from the definition of rape, is it?
And the worst thing, to me? What would they have said to the kids, when the question comes: what happened to my daddy? Yes, there are successful single parent families but divorce is one thing - you have the solace of the 'mummy and daddy don't want to be together any more but they still both love you very much...' thing. But what do you say in this case? How on earth do you explain to that child that not only does daddy not love it, but that he went to court to fight for the right not to be its daddy? That he was desperate for it not to be born? How could you even consider doing that to a child?
I do have sympathy with women who want a child. But there's no need for this - adopt one, for heaven's sake. Give some poor unwanted little bastard a chance of a family, if you're so desperate for one.
Today, I have been mostly...
Writing fanfic. Write Sparks is a regular little fanfic generating machine. I've even put them up on my site. (I have a site! It's purple!) If Wishes Were Horses came from the mixed metaphor 'a saddle of tears' and Too Late from the Opening Line 'They arrived too late.' I love this programme.At home
Still at home, which is nice. Still in pain, which is not.
